Kerala Trip

My journey began bright and early at 3:30 am with my alarm going off. At 3:45 I was off to the airport which was about an hour drive. At the airport the driver pulled into the 3rd lane at the departure area and I started to open the car door. At this moment a truck pulled up and gave me about 6 inches to open my door, I gave him an angry stare and he backed up enough for me to open my door and get out. I then slid out of the car in a hurry and shut the door. I then checked my pockets and felt the wallet and passport. I looked back in the car window to see if anything slipped out, but the cab driver was blocking the view as he was locking the door. I thought all was well as I began to walk in. About 5 minutes later I realized I had no cell phone. My life line with every contact number in India was gone. Now I was really on me own on this trip. I was in a panic but could do nothing. I had only had my boss’s business card and called him later. He confirmed that the cell was in the cab and would be back for me when I arrived.

I then went through the security check in and waited for the plane. The one difference is at the gate instead of the plane pulling up, a couple of busses pull up and you get on the bus which drives you to the plane.

The plane landed around 10. I got out on the runway and felt the sun for the first time in a while. Everything was green and luscious. It was a different world compared to Delhi. This state is also known as “God’s Country”.

I find my cab driver and we were off. Even traffic was different here. It was an easy 45 minute drive to the hotel. However that is when the rains started. I got myself checked in and then ventured out for some touring of Fort Cochin, Mattancherryand Jew Town. It was a long windy drive out across many bridges. At Fort Cochin I saw a few old churches. Kerala is mostly a Christian state with a few Hindus. The churches are from the 1400’s when the Portuguese and British used the city as a trading port as it is right on the Arabian Sea. I saw the Chinese fishing nets (see pics) and the local fisherman fishing by tossing out smaller nets. It looked like they were catching something that was slightly larger than a minnow. With the name of “Fort” in Fort Cochin, I was expecting to see a fort, but there is not one. I walked around Jew Town for a while, but since it was Saturday it was mostly closed. I then waited for a Kathakali performance. It is a 1,000 year old plus play. It is all in sign and body language and was weird. I went early as you get to see the 3 actors put on makeup before the show. I was told this was something to see, however it was a wasted hour for me. Then the show began and these guys were all dressed up in dresses and face paint. The body language was impressive as they had total control over every muscle in their face. The show was something that was not for me. I could have walked out after 5 minutes, but as I was one of only 3 people watching it, I could have not sneaked out easily. I stayed for an hour and a half. It was an unique artistic experience. I even shot a little video.


Day 2 was a lazy day. I hung out at the pool of the Le Meridian. It was a 3 tiered pool. This should have been my last stop instead of the first as the hotels were all down hill from here. I spent most of the day with two ladies from Scotland that were their on vacation. They kept the day interesting.

The 3 of us ate at one of the hotel restaurant. We split two fresh fish between us and it was by far the most expensive meal of the trip, about 4,500 rupees for the three of us. I paid about 400 rupees for a similar meal in Varkala. That is Le Meridian pricing though.

Day 3. At 8 am I was off to Periyar and the nature reserve. This was a narrow, windy, mountainous road of about 250 km that took about 5 hours. For the 3 days of driving in the mountain area my left bicep grew about an inch from hanging onto the “oh shit” bar above the door. There were a couple close calls, but no injuries. However on day 6 I saw a guy get hit and his wife screaming and trying to pick up the body. I saw no blood, but he was either knocked out cold or a goner. It is dangerous driving. I was also surprised to see houses along every inch of road except for the steepest parts of the mountain range.

Next I completed the last major thing to do on my list. I went to an elephant camp and took an elephant ride. That was the best deal of the trip. 200 rupees for 30 minutes on the elephant.

Before that I went on a one hour spice land trip where they explained all the local herbs and spices they grow. They had me eat one flower which turned my mouth numb for half an hour. IT was the local Novocain. Most of the other things were coffee beans, bananas and other herbs.

The hotel was in the middle of a national park reserve and was a jungle area. Around 5 pm I walked around the hotel building. There were signs everywhere to not walk around past 6 pm and to never walk alone. There are tigers in the park. From my walking around for a half an hour I picked up 6 leaches on my ankles. 3 of them were plump off of me by the time I spotted them. The hotel was also supposed to have a lakeside view, however the jungle was so dense that you could not see 5 feet into it.

Day 4. At 7 am I took a 3 hour trek into the park. Several groups of 5 people went out. The company provided leech protection booties that went up to the knees and poured tobacco on them. Apparent leaches do not like tobacco. With all the rain the trecking was wet and muddy. The trails were not much at all and we had to cross several streams walking on top of small trees that were just cut down. In the group of 5 were two people from France and they talked loudly the entire time, the one thing you do not want when trying to spot wild animals. The first half of the trip we only saw a few large spiders, one was larger than my hand and the web was about 4 feet in diameter. It was huge, a wood spider. However the second half picked up. First a couple black monkeys were in the trees above us howling away. Then a pack of wild boar were across the river bed about 100 yards away. Then 2 elephants, mom and a baby. The tour guides said the elephants are only seen once or twice a month, so we were lucky.

We then went to a look out point that overlooked a mountain range. I took a private tour on a man’s property that overlooked a waterfall. The waterfall was about 1,500 yards long. The view from the mountain we were standing on was magnificent.

Next I had to try the Avyrundac massage which is the homeopathic massage style in Kerala. It was 900 rupees or $18 for 80 minute full body massage and a 10 minute steam back with 18 herbs. I have been touched by a man in places that no other man has touched me before. First they have you strip down to nothing and put on a disposable thong thing on, toilet paper tied around a string. Then he had me get up on the table. He said “backside?” a few times and I thought he wanted me to layover but that wasn’t it. I was confused and finally said “yes”. Then he takes off the toilet paper part of the thong on my backside and starting pouring oil all over me. He then did this crisscross move that started at my ankles and went all the way to my shoulders without stopping for anything in between. He then worked over a good 95% of me. The only part he did not touch was the front of the thong bikini’s. More than anything this massage was painful. He was too strong for what my body was used to. I had bruises for 3 days on my biceps and a few other places.


Day 5. At 7:30 am we were off to Allepey for the houseboat ride. It was another winding scary drive that lasted 4.5 hours. I had the entire houseboat to myself with 3 crewman. The trip went through the backwaters which were canals. Houses aligned the canals on both sides everywhere except where the rice fields were. I saw more birds on a one hour boat ride around Cochin then I did in the one day boat ride. I wanted to get a nice picture of a kingfisher, the bird that the beer is named after. It has bright blue wings and a gold belly. However they were just always out of reach for a good pic. I received 3 huge meals on the boat. I think the crew ate all the leftovers as they made enough for 5 people. They tied up the boat around 5 pm to a property that the company owned. I had an hour to roam around. There was nothing to do so I took a lot of flower pictures. A few of them looked pretty good using the flash. The sunset was pink and a few pics turned out well with the palm trees and reflection off the river. I had a good night sleep on the houseboat with it rolling on the waves.

Day 6. We headed back to the starting point. There were ferries, school boats, and fisherman all over the place. It was the first time that I have seen children transported to school on a boat. I was told the trip would take me to Kumarakom which is a large lake/lagoon but we never made it there. I made a complaint to that on the feedback forms and then management had a talk with me. Once again told one thing, and you get something else.

The ride to Varkala was an easy 3 hour drive. My hotel was a 2 minute walk from the beach which has large red cliffs and a white sand beech. The waves and current make swimming in the Arabian Sea very difficult. I got in a few time to cool off from the blistering sun. I think I am the tannest I have been in years.

This is a hippy destination. Walking around the guys and girls are wearing the exact same clothes. Many people walking around are smoking something stronger than a cigarette. Many of the stores were Tibetan themed.

The beech was very relaxing.

Day 7. Soaked up the sun on the beech.

Day 8. My birthday. I was up early and took an early swim at 7 am and watched all the yoga people doing there thing. Then it was a 2 hour drive to Kovalem. I check into the hotel which was right between a lighthouse and a private beech. We drove around and saw 5 different beeches. The first beech was the harbor where all the fisherman’s boats are. However the beech is more or less the bathroom and it was full of landmines. I did find a few nice seashells in this area though. Then we were off to the nicer beeches which were lined with shops. I stopped and had butter fish for lunch. The meat is as tender as butter if cooked right. Mine wasn’t like butter, but was still good. Then we went back to the hotel. The beech next to the hotel was in a small cove and only about 300 feet long. For the first hour I was the only person there. It was like being on my own little private beach. After a while a few more people came from a different hotel. The waves and under toe were even worse here. One time I was thrashed under a wave and spun around a few times. That night I went to the beach walk around Eve’s beach and giant king prawn for dinner. They were the size of small lobsters and were tasty. It was a nice relaxing birthday. I fell asleep to the waves crashing onto the beech.

Day 9. Last day. I was awoken at 6 am to the sounds of crows. Instead of seagulls like we have in the US, there are crows around the water here. I took one more trip out to my private beach again. Before heading off to the airport for my trip back.

I arrived in Delhi at 8:10 expecting my cab to be there. It was not. I was waiting around when a man in a suit asked me what hotel I was staying at. Since I was still without my mobile, I asked to use his phone and called my manager. I spoke with Dipankar who said the cab company had no knowledge of me arriving and I was on my own to get back. I know I told the cab driver 3 times and a coworker to verify on Friday to pick me up. This was not a good situation. I went to a prepaid taxi stop and they said they do not go to Noida because it is in a different state, but they can drop me off at the border and help me get a ride from there. I said ok since I had no other option and was off. About half way to Noida just past the India Gate the cab driver pulls over and starts talking to a rickshaw driver. He tells me 200 rupees to Noida. I said no, Noida border and argued with him for 5 minutes before he started driving again. He drove some back roads about another 15 minutes before he came to another rickshaw driver. At this point I had no idea where he was. This guy wanted 300 rupees. I bargained him down to 200 then his buddy came and he went off with his buddy. We were off again in the cab. He took some more back roads and found another driver. This guy said 150, I had no other choice and went with him. It was a 40 minute drive at about 50 degrees and I was wearing a t-shirt. Normally that would not be bad, but I just came from 100+ degrees. Plus the smog was still bad. It took 3 Kleenexes to get the black out of my nose afterwards. I finally made it to the Cabana after 10 more relieved than anything.



Recap the vacation was great. Kerala is another world compared to Delhi. It is cleaner, greener, there were no cows on the roads and the cows I saw looked fat and healthy,. The biggest surprise is the state is a communist state. They had the symbol that is on the Russian flag all over the place. The state also has the highest education in India. However it does not have the jobs to support the education so most people move onto the bigger metropolitan cities.